


Beguilement

by Arya_Greenleaf



Series: Fine Underthings [1]
Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Panties, Post-Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:08:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26962648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arya_Greenleaf/pseuds/Arya_Greenleaf
Summary: A night out with her sister is lovely, but for Joanna, coming home to Bill and Thea is even better -- especially since Bill is not a Royal Ugly Dude and he's got a most excellent sense of humor in the bedroom.
Relationships: Joanna/Bill S. Preston Esq.
Series: Fine Underthings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1967566
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	Beguilement

**Author's Note:**

> I'd say I'm sorry to Billy Joel but dammit I think he'd just be glad they were having fun.
> 
> In which Bill S Preston, Esquire puts on some pink panties and it is non-non- triumphant.

There have been moments over the course of the last handful of years that Joanna has wondered if she should have gotten into the phonebooth with Rufus. There has been frustration. There has been fear. There has been disappointment. Confusion -- anger -- melancholy --

But there has been joy and there has been love -- incredible, reassuring, and pure of heart.

Joanna doesn’t want to disturb the scene she comes home to. She moves quietly into the darkened house, speaking in whispers to Elizabeth. They’ve been out awfully late -- first dinner, then a trip to the cinema, finally to the ice cream parlor for banana splits -- they’re not surprised by the quiet house when they come upon it. They part ways on the stairs, Elizabeth to the ground floor and Joanna tiptoeing to the one above. She calls out to Bill softly, not wanting to startle him in the dark if he’s still awake. She finds him in the nursery, snoring softly in the rocking chair with Thea on his chest. 

Bill is luminous in the moonlight through the window, like a sliver of sun peeking up over the horizon just before it rises. Thea shifts almost imperceptibly and sneezes before quieting entirely again.

“Hmm?” Bill’s brow moves up, a sudden alertness to his sleeping countenance. He holds his breath, frozen for just a moment while he listens. He relaxes again slowly, his brow and chest falling back down in time. Joanna watches them for a moment, the frivolous thought of going to find the Polaroid skipping through her head.

 _Yes_ , she thinks. She made the right choice when she stepped into the strange metal box with the man who claimed to have come from the future to rescue her and Bess on behalf of Ted, of San Dimas, and the Earl of Preston.

Joanna reaches out, gently moving a gold-spun curl from Bill’s forehead and following the line of him from cheek to chin. His eyelashes flutter and she gently puts a hand over his, just to be sure Thea isn’t jostled awake as well.

“Mm?” Bill blinks up at her, seeming disoriented for just a second before he registers the warm weight of Thea on his chest and the shadowy shapes of the room around him. He smiles sleepily. “The Princess has returned from her travels.”

Thea hardly stirs when Bill and Joanna shift her from Bill’s arms to her bed. They watch her for a moment, leaning against the rail of the crib and peering down though the soft shadows at her tiny face. “She wasn’t too fussy?”

“Not at all. Little Ted is an _excellent_ dinner companion.”

Joanna snorts quietly. “What did you have?”

“Peanut butter and jelly.”

“Oh no!” she whispers. “We should have gotten a sitter -- a double date.”

“No way! _Babe Time_ is essential. Tall Ted and I were writing up a storm all night, sandwiches were most appropriate fare. It was the nice stuff from that hippie place.”

“Next time, then.”

Bill grins and leans in to plant a chaste kiss on Joanna’s lips. “ _Definitely_.”

Joanna breathes out, resting her forehead against Bill’s. “I think I’m going to have a hot shower and get myself right to bed. Will you join me?”

Bill shakes his head and stretches. “You go ahead. I totally didn’t switch the wash into the dryer.” Joanna wrinkles her nose. “Hey, it was only towels that got mildewy that time.” He laughs and cringes when Thea whines, putting his finger up against his lips.

The hot shower is a welcome end to the day and Joanna’s nearly finished when Bill finally comes back upstairs. He peeks in behind the curtain to apologize for taking so long; he’d stopped to fold what had already been in the dryer. It’s astonishing, Joanna thinks, how much Bill changed in those sixteen months of intensive guitar training. He’s still the romantic, wild boy she fell for -- but he’s not the listless guy who lived in a messy apartment paid for by _Pretzels n' Cheese_ (and kind of smelled sometimes like it, too).

She lets Bill catch her when she’s finished, laughing when he swings her around in a circle, only half-heartedly protesting the danger of her wet feet on the smooth floor tiles while she clutches the towel around herself. She stumbles, dizzy and giddy back out into the bedroom, leaving Bill to his own bedtime ablutions. 

“ _Excuse me_ ,” Bill says, leaning out the bathroom door into the bedroom. “Your Majesty, Jo? I _distinctly_ remember someone being very annoyed about clothes on the floor.”

“What?”

Waggling his eyebrows, Bill lifts his hand into view and the underwear she’d taken off are dangling from his crooked finger. He swings them around and moves his hands like he might slingshot them across the room.

“You’re a _nightmare_ , do you know that?”

“No way! I am a _most_ superb daydream.”

Joanna thinks as quickly as she can, spotting a balled up sock on the floor. She picks it up and chucks it toward the bathroom door. Bill laughs and ducks and the sock sails over his head. “Terrible!” she calls after him and drops lazily down onto the edge of the bed.

The alarm clock, Joanna thinks while she sets the time and tunes the radio, is a miracle of modern ingenuity. There’s no need for some maid to come in and pinch meanly at her legs; the throwing open of her curtains is entirely unnecessary. She decides when she wants to wake and chooses the manner of her waking. No one but Bill is there when she opens her eyes and he doesn’t poke her and prod her and shove her into yards and yards of fabric to be put on pretty display. She leaves the radio on while she works a comb through her hair, tapping her toes to the beat and distractedly following the shadow of Bill’s movements in the bathroom cast across the floor.

The first lively beats of her favorite song begin to play and Joanna turns the volume up. Not too much, she wouldn’t want to disturb Thea; but enough that the music fills the room. Another miracle of the world she followed Bill into -- the many varied wonders of melody all at her fingertips.

She can hear Bill absently singing along. He leans through the doorway with his face damp and a headband pushing his hair up into a ridiculous pouf and the collar of his bathrobe flicked up around his ears. “And now she’s lookin’ for a downtown man -- that’s what I am!”

He ducks back into the bathroom and his singing turns burbly under the running water of the sink. Joanna can’t help but laugh. “It’s true!” she calls out. “You’re not so tough!”

A self-proclaimed metalhead dancing in a bathrobe. _So very tough_ , Joanna thinks and laughs. She tips forward to gather her hair on the top of her head and twist it into a knot.

“Oh, _ooh_ -oh, OH-O!” Bill slides into the room, hopping and twisting his hips. “Uptown girl! You know I can’t afford to buy her pearls -- “

Joanna sits up and tucks the edge of her towel back in. “I don’t need them!”

“But maybe someday when my ship comes in?” He puts his hands up and shrugs. He wiggles around, showing off flashes of leg through the front of the robe and purses his lips, letting it fall open so she can see his sunkissed shoulder. “And when she’s w _aa_ lkin’ she’s l _oo_ kin’ so _fi-yie-yine -- “_

He unknots the belt and swings the ends around. The music builds and Bill gets closer, still dancing like a goof and holding the robe closed. Joanna snots and puts her leg out to stop him with her toes against his thigh. He works the robs down, rolling his shoulders until his chest is bare and she can see the little outline of a heart tattooed on his ribs. He’d meant to have a _J_ put in the middle as well but the man who’d done it was much too worried that Bill looked ripe to pass out.

“And now she’s lookin’ for a downtown man -- “ The robe falls open, bunched around Bill’s elbows. “ _That’s what I am!_ ”

Joanna is entirely speechless. She opens her mouth and closes it. She opens it again. Bill dances away, wiggling and hopping and wearing nothing else but the panties he’d accused her of leaving on the bathroom floor.

“You know I’m in love with an uptown girl! My _up_ -town gir- _ir- irll_ \--”

He’s got them hitched high on his hips so they make a deep _U_ beneath his navel. The mauve is a complimentary blush against his skin and the shiny rayon flashes softly in the lamplight. The elastic digs in just a little, his waist wider than hers. Bill dances to the last bars of the song, oblivious to the way that Joanna has frozen. He turns and fabric is tight across his behind. He swings back, an elated grin on his face and his chest rising and falling like he’s just played a particularly intense guitar solo.

The smile drops off of Bill’s face.

“I’m sorry,” he says. His shoulders round down and he puts his hands in front of himself. “I shouldn’t have put them on, it was a most heinous assumption.”

Joanna finds her voice again all in a rush. “You look nice.”

“I just thought it would be funny.” Bill’s cheeks turn from exhilarated pink to bright red. “I’ll take them off.”

“Don’t.”

“What?” Bill _giggles_ , downright nervously. “ _Bogus_.”

“Come here,” Joanna whispers. Bill snorts and makes a move to pick his bathrobe up off the floor. “ _William_.”

“Yes, Princess?” He clears his throat and straightens up, rolling his shoulders back and pushing his chin forward. He tugs the headband out of his hair and his goldspun curls fall forward in a flop over his forehead. He chucks the plastic halo toward the bedside table and puts his hands on his hips.

“Come here,” she says again and reaches over to press down the button on the clock radio. The commercial that’s playing falls silent, ready to spring to life again when the alarm goes off in the morning. "You look nice," she repeats.

"Feels nice," he mumbles.

Bill shuffles forward, kicking the robe away from his feet. Joanna reaches out, feeling tentative and bashful. She touches his hip and traces the ripply gathers of the rayon and elastic from one side to the other. His flat stomach goes tight as a drum and he holds his breath. Joanna looks up at him and his expression is so very soft and far away. She smiles and hooks her index finger into the waistband and tugs. He follows the pull with his hips, tipping them toward her.

“I’m so glad you’re not a _Royal Ugly Dude_ ,” she breathes.

Bill laughs and doubles over, pressing his lips to the top of her head over and over in loud smacking kisses and knocking her hair out of its bun. “I don’t even want to think of that.”

Joanna snorts. “It would be… non-triumphant,” she says with a matter of fact.

“Heinous,” he laughs. “ _Most_ non-non-odious.”

Joanna leans back on her elbows. She takes a deep breath, careless of how her towel begins to fall away. She looks at Bill standing there with his arms crossed and hips cocked. He’s enjoying himself, that much is evident in spite of the embarrassed flush that’s still sitting on his cheeks. “Resplendent,” she breathes.

Bill takes another step forward and plants his knee beside her on the bed. He reaches out to brace his hand against the mattress, leaning in. He puts his other hand on her, pushing the towel completely away. Joanna wraps her arms around him while he kisses her, stroking his shoulders and back and working her way down to his backside. The contrast between the smooth panty, warmed from wear, and Bill’s soft skin is delicious. Joanna melts into the mattress under his weight.

“Excellent,” Bill laughs, peppering Joanna’s cheeks with little pecks.

Joanna slides her hands under the panties and her palms are pressed flat by how taut they are. She squeezes and laughs at the surprised face Bill makes.

“My _darling_ Earl of Preston.” Bill bites his lip and looks down at Joanna expectantly. “You are…” She breathes in deep and purses her lips. “ _Such_ a babe.”

“Mm, many thanks fair Princess,” he kisses her fondly.

“But --”

“But?” Bill draws back, looking a little wounded.

“But you smell like peanut butter, you simply _must_ go back and brush your teeth.”

They laugh, enamored with each other, the savory scent really not an issue at all.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! I love comments ^_^
> 
> [Find me here.](https://aryagreenleaf.carrd.co/)


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